


A Cuddle Pile Under the Pretense of Warmth (Which is Soon Discarded)

by Bobsled_Hostage



Series: Rose <3 Kanaya <> Karkat <3< Rose Nonsense [2]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/F, F/M, Huddling For Warmth, Naked Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6885982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobsled_Hostage/pseuds/Bobsled_Hostage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope I’m sending this to the right guy and didn’t misread the comment threading in that /co/ thread</p></blockquote>





	A Cuddle Pile Under the Pretense of Warmth (Which is Soon Discarded)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aptEntelekhine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aptEntelekhine/gifts).



[Caliborn: Browse Erotic Literature](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6735121/chapters/15393619)

THE FIRST CHAPTER HAS NO PAYOFF. WHERE IS THE PAYOFF. THE SHOT OF MONEY. THERE IS ONLY CHATTING AND THE USE OF A CONCEIT INVOLVING GROSS THINGS THAT I REALLY WISH YOU HAD NOT MENTIONED IN ORDER TO FACILITATE AMUSING CHARACTER INTERACTIONS.

 

[====>](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6735121/chapters/15413938)

AND NOW THE SECOND. 

WHAT THE FUCK, IS WRONG WITH YOU. WHY IS ALL THIS TASTY CHARACTER INTERACTION, MIXED WITH THE WORST SORT OF DEBAUCHERY. THIS MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH.

THE CAPITAL BITCH CONTINUES TO SPEAK. IN A LEWD MANNER, BUT THE CUCK AND THE ROSE HUMAN NEED TO DUMP A BUCKET OF ICE WATER ONTO THEMSELVES. AND THEN THE CAPITAL BITCH CAN. TOWEL IT OFF OF THEM. PERHAPS ALL THREE WILL INDULGE IN A

AND A SHIVER RUNS DOWN MY SPINE TO THINK, OF THIS UNBEARABLE LEWDNESS, A

CUDDLE PILE. UNDER THE PRETENSE OF WARMTH, WHICH IS SOON DISCARDED.

 

Characters: Enact scenario

NO, THE GLOTTAL STOP COMES BEFORE THE VOWEL, SEE?  IF I DIDN’T HAVE FULL FAITH AND CONFIDENCE IN YOUR INABILITY TO GRASP ELEMENTARY VERB CONJUGATION I’D SWEAR YOU WERE DOING THIS TO PISS ME OFF. 

Karkat stomped through someone’s memory of the Land of Frost and Frogs, berating Rose (who followed close behind, trying her best not to giggle) for yet another foolish error in her attempts to master the spoken form of the Alternian language.

THE RULES AREN’T THAT DIFFICULT TO GRASP, AND UNLIKE THE SHAMBLING, CULL-WORTHY ABOMINATIONS THAT MAKE UP YOUR HUMAN GRAMMATICAL CONSTRUCTIONS, THEY’RE ACTUALLY CONSISTENT ACROSS THE WHOLE LANGUAGE.  SOMETIMES I THINK IT’S YOUR MOUTH THAT JUST ISN’T CUT OUT TO FORM OUR DELICATE CONSONANT CLUSTERS, OR REALLY DO ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF GUZZLE BUL-

The troll’s stream of lewd invective was cut short by a ten gallon bucket of ice water, toppling from its perch atop the door he’d just pushed open in an effort to locate a less inhospitable dream environ.  He shrieked, drenched from horn to toe.  Rose stopped trying not to laugh.

WHAT THE FUCK?  WHO- Karkat pushed back the mop of wet hair plastered to his face and picked up the offending article, the better to get a good look at the message written at the bottom in bright, permanent marker.

 

if you’re reading this you just got pranked!

your pal

-john

 

WOW!  Karkat sent it flying with a kick.  AMAZING!  HERE I WAS THINKING THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, HE WASN’T THE DUMBEST LUSUSFUCKER EVER TO CRAWL SQUIRMING OUT OF AN ECTOBIOLOGY MACHINE INTO HIS OWN DISGUSTING HANDS.  His teeth chattered as he crossed his arms, already shivering furiously in his sopping wet sweater as he continued onward.  AND, YET AGAIN, WHEN I EXTEND HIM THE BENEFIT OF A DOUBT, THE RUSTY FALCHION OF REALITY SWINGS FORTH TO SEVER MY FROND AT THE ELBOW FOR MY EFFORTS.  FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC.

And yet, generally dim as you may think him, he appears to have outwitted you yet again.

HARDLY.  I BET YOU A BOONBOND HE’S BEEN LEAVING BUCKETS ON EVERY DOOR HE COMES ACROSS, HIDING THEM IN EVERY POSSIBLE LOCATION LIKE A HORNY, RETARDED VERSION OF THE SUFFERING DAY JACKALOPE.

Ah, but in this instance, it paid off.  Rose secretly hoped Karkat knew where they were going.  Though she wouldn’t admit it outloud, she was frustratingly unable to scry a path to a more hospitable clime for them.

IT WAS PROBABLY A DOOMED JOHN ANYWAY.  IF HE’S SO SMART- Karkat sneezed, WHY IS HE FUCKING DEAD?

I fear we may have to inquire the same of you in the near future if you don’t dry off somehow.

TAKE YOUR FALSE CONCERN AND CRAM YOUR EVERY ORIFICE WITH IT UNTIL YOU EITHER SUFFOCATE OR EXPLODE.  I HAVE A MOIRAIL, THE LAST THING I’M INTERESTED NOW IS- another sneeze, YOU ANGLING FOR A BLACK DIAMOND.

A moirail who, if I recall correctly, you explored a similar land extensively with, although without any degree of success.   Rose noted the way her spade hunched his shoulders a little more than could be reasonably explained by the cold.   She did, I hope, at some point teach you that wearing a soaked article of clothing is actually-

The Seer of Light yelped as she slipped and fell down a snowy embankment, landing in a pool of waist-deep, slushy water.  She stood up, sputtering and shocked.  Karkat laughed, loudly and plainly forced.

YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT WET ARTICLES OF CLOTHING?  WHAT AN AMAZING COINCIDENCE.  ISN’T IT NICE WHEN THE UNIVERSE TAKES A SHIT IN YOUR LAP IN THE GUISE OF HELPING YOU DEMONSTRATE FIRSTHAND SOME AWFUL THING YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT?  He extended an almost-numb hand to help her climb back up onto the path.  COME ON, I REMEMBER JADE’S SPIRE WAS THIS WAY.

As I was saying, before I was so  _ rudely  _ interrupted,  Rose was shivering too, though perhaps not as violently, wearing wet clothing in cold weather is an excellent way to contract hypothermia.

ARE YOU ASKING ME TO STRIP?  BECAUSE IF SO, A: FUCK YOU, AND B: YOU FIRST.

Could it be?  Karkat Vantas, embarrassed by his body, in front of his kismesis, no less?  What a shocking and unprecedented development!  She managed to get through the whole bit without her chattering teeth spoiling the delivery.   We don’t have time for your painfully predictable self-loathing at the moment.  Quit whining and get naked.

DID YOU MISS BOTH THE FIRST AND SECOND ITEMS ON THE CURRICULUM I JUST SHARED?  BECAUSE IF SO- a sneeze, followed by another, I HAVE SOME NOTES HERE I CAN SHARE TO ASSIST IN THIS BY ALL ACCOUNTS CRUCIAL SCHOOLFEEDING.  He offered her two extended mid-digits before stuffing his hands back under his armpits.  

The snow falling around them graduated into a full fledged blizzard as they argued.  Rose stumbled forward, determined to pull the drenched, ratty sweater off her kismesis.  Karkat flailed back and the two of them wrestled, locked together, blinded by the stinging wind and the biting, icy flakes. 

Perhaps I Might Intervene By Persuading The Both Of You To Disrobe In Concert Rather Than Continuing This Admittedly Amusing But At The Same Time Rather Silly Display

They opened their eyes.  The blizzard was gone, the bubble having either passed through the meteor or the memory having dissipated.  Kanaya was standing with a pair of fluffy towels, looking amused.  As though she had caught a pair of favored pets playfully gnawing on one another's tails.

KANAYA-

Come Now There Is Nothing That Everyone In This Room Has Not Already Seen

Cowed by her ironclad logic, the two stripped.  Rose delicately and Karkat somewhat sheepishly, until they both stood naked and shivering.  Karkat pointedly avoided looking at Rose’s rosy, stiff nipples, the slick triangle of dark blonde hair pointing the way between her legs.  Don’t pop a wiggly in front of your moirail, don’t do it.  Yes she’d seen it before but this wasn’t the time, not when she was reaching for him with the towel and oh, _oh._ His bulge stayed in its sheathe, lulled to inactivity by the surge of pale feelings brought forth by his moirail drying him off.  Rose stared, waiting her turn.  Kanaya paused fluffing Karkat’s damp, disorderly mop of hair to press a kiss to one of his nubby horns, and she couldn’t tell if his little chirp was genuine or an attempt to make her jealous.  The jadeblood finished up, leaving him still chilly but altogether much happier about the immediate circumstances.

Kanaya turned to dry Rose.  The human girl stretched languidly, back bent, hips and chest thrust toward Kanaya like a bow.  Deliberately exposing a number of favored feeding spots.  The rainbow drinker huffed, irritated.

Rose When I Am In The Mood You Will Be The First Or At Most The Second To Know But For The Moment I Am Full

I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean by that, but if we’re talking about filling things you might-

Kanaya silenced Rose with a towel over her face, gently but firmly wiping away the frigid water.  The Seer obligingly closed her eyes and allowed her matesprit to towel her off, relaxing into her touch.  She hummed contentedly, hoping to irritate Karkat back.  Kanaya fussed over her hair, trying to smooth it as best as possible after drying it.  Perhaps later they could fill up a tub, get some shampoo, then halfway through Rose would turn, straddle the gorgeous jadeblood and-

There We Are.  Kanaya hung the damp towel on the back of a chair with the other, sans a proper rack for them.   Now If You Two Could Find It In Your Sanguine Pumps To Wait Patiently For A Moment, she directed their attention to a heap of cushions, blankets and pillows piled in the corner,   It Seems I Am The Tiniest Bit Overdressed For This Particular Function

Karkat wasted no time scurrying into the pile, curling into a tight ball with as many blankets as he could wrap around himself.  Rose took her time, turning to watch her matesprit shrug her bright red skirt off her generous hips.  By the time Kanaya had removed her underthings Rose was sinking into the pile, wondering if Karkat would object loudly to her STEALING HIS WARMTH if she spooned him.  Kanaya rendered the question moot by sliding in between, pulling a thick, handmade quilt over the three of them.

GOD MARYAM, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS FREEZING?

Even with a body between them, Rose could feel the heat Karkat gave off, mutant blood running hotter than anyone else on the meteor.  She reached over Kanaya and pinched him, prompting an irritated squawk and attempt to swat her back.  Kanaya laughed and gathered them both against her.  Karkat squirmed and wriggled in her grasp until he had his arms around her in kind.  Rose had heard Kanaya purr before, a thin, high, dainty sound.  This was the first time she’d heard Karkat.  A low, rumbling and, like everything else about him, loud sound.  Either this would end in another threesome, or they would stay like this, warm and (mostly) dry and wrapped up together until they fell asleep.

Either outcome, Rose thought, would be more than acceptable.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I’m sending this to the right guy and didn’t misread the comment threading in that /co/ thread


End file.
